Our Not-So-Ordinary Love Story Pt.5

The final post of my mini series on our love story is finally here! At the end of part 4 I mentioned that this last post would be a team effort between Micah and I on the wedding festivities as well as what we've learned in our first year of marriage. Sorry it's obviously taken longer than a week to complete this last post. Getting both of us to sit down for longer than 30 mins is nearly impossible since I've started my new jobs. We're going to map out this post in an "interview style" simply so you guys can get a clear understanding from both of us without it being confusing or repetitive. So, without further ado, we present the last and final post from our not-so-ordinary love story...

Wedding Lessons:

Q: Being that you only had 4 months to plan, pay and coordinate a wedding, what were the first steps you guys took to making it happen?

Micah: One of the first things Pam and I did was sit down and create a budget. Even though we were getting married young, fast and a couple months before making the biggest move of our life across country, we still wanted a real wedding that was all Pam had dreamed of her entire life. We knew what we had to spend so now we just had to put priorities in place. 

Pam: Yeah, we had to make so many lists to figure out what were the "must haves" and the "would like to haves". Something's we were willing to spend a pretty penny on and somethings we decided to create ourselves, borrow or even cut out completely. Our budget for everything (and I mean everything) was $3,000 at the most. Some laughed that we made such an "unrealistic budget" but it was literally all we had (or hardly had) to spend. So I'd say budgeting, prioritizing and compromising were some of the first things we did.  

Q: What was the hardest thing about wedding planning considering your age, financial situation and time limit?

Micah: Honestly, for me, one of the hardest things was hearing everyone's opinions on what they thought we should do. Pam and I had always talked about straying away from the traditional wedding style so when it came down to planning and such, we got a lot of "that's not how you're supposed to do this" and stuff.

Pam: I would definitely agree with Micah. As much as we love our parents, we finally had to have "the talk" with them about letting us do our own thing. They were just trying to help so no hard feelings. :) But other than that, I think for me one of the hardest parts was delegating. Because of our budget we had to create most of the decor in our ceremony and reception. I'm a freak when it comes to style, design, colors and everything so trying to give a task to someone with hopes they'll execute what was in my mind was flipping exhausting. Of course the closer it got to the wedding day I became a lot less OCD and control-freaky and just let whatever happened happen. It all worked out the way it had to. 

Q: What is some advice you would give on wedding planning to a newly engaged couple based on the experiences you guys had leading up to your wedding day?

Micah: It's not so much about the way your wedding looks on your wedding day, it's more about how you feel. So, wear what you want, decorate it with the things you personally like, don't worry if people don't agree with the way you've done your wedding and don't feel like you have to follow tradition because when you look back on the wedding day you won't remember all the small details, you'll just remember how you felt so just make sure you're as comfortable as possible. 

Pam: On top of that I would definitely encourage you to remember that money should never be an issue. You don't have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to have a beautiful wedding. I think sometimes in wedding planning it's easy to loose sight of why you're planning the wedding in the first place. So just keep your mind fixed on the right things and you'll go through the process A LOT easier. 

Married Life in the First Year:

Q: So, what's been the highlight of your first year of marriage? 

Micah: The sex. 

Pam: Wow! Haha! Anywho, I'd say for me it's been having your best friend over for slumber parties every night. It's like middle school when you wanted to have sleepovers on a school night and your mom would say "not on a school night" except you're mom isn't there to tell you "not on a school night". It's the best. It's like always having a side-kick 24-7.

Q: How has living in Australia been being that you had only been married 2 months before moving?

Micah: It's great! I think it really strengthened us as a couple in the sense of relying on each other instead of our friends and family. 

Pam: Again, totally agree with Micah. I think the most challenging part for us specifically is living with people. You have to learn to not only live with your spouse so shortly after getting married but now you have 5 other housemates to learn to live with as well. Privacy is something you treasure when you can get it but it's definitely a season we're thankful for because we've been poured into by some amazing and wise couples in this year for sure. 

Q: What's some of the best advice you have been given in your first year of marriage that has helped you the most?

Micah: I remember being told to understand that in marriage, especially in the first couple years, it's normal and healthy to fight/argue to an extent. It's all part of growing together into one person and it helps you learn how to live with someone else.  

Pam: For me it's been to always make time for romance. Being in Australia on a tight budget with chaotic schedules and in a house full of other people can sometimes make the "romance factor" fly right out the door. In America in our own house, we could easily plan a candle lit dinner with the record player in the background but here it's not that simple. You have to be intentional with keeping the flame burnin'. Haha. Whether that looks like having a fund in your budget for dates, taking a day off from work to spend laying in bed watching Netflix movies all day or even just going out to dinner to spend time with each other without your housemates around, it's all about being intentional with your romance.    

Our Not-So-Ordinary Love Story Pt.4

We're back! So sorry for the lateness. Between work, school and housework, I've had to totally refocus! Alright now, where were we... Oh yes! Micah just professed that he wanted to come with me to Australia! As excited as we both were about this idea, we had to be real. We had to consider things like: trying to live in a beautiful country, in a completely different time zone than our parents, living completely dependent from them while all just dating. I guess we knew it could've worked but it just didn't seem realistic. We prayed about the next step. I mean hard. We got advice from family and friends and it was about 50/50. Some said "Just break up and stay friends so when you get back you can pick things back up if it's meant to be". Others said, "YOLO! You're young and in love, follow your dreams and carpe diem!!" Okay maybe both were a tad exaggerated but you get the picture. We were confused, scared & slowly running out of time but we knew we wanted to be together. We both wanted to make sure that our love wasn't just temporary. After all, we're 19&21 and have been technically dating for maybe a month?

It was about a week later that God spoke to us (separately I might add). His promise to us was that if we crafted a marriage to honor Him that we would take care of us. It was very apparent throughout the few months to follow that our decision to get married was confirmation. July 25th, Micah proposed!

Here's the video announcing our engagement and summarizing our story. It's really cool getting to look back at us before our big move to Australia. Our hearts are still the same excited and crazy in love hearts they were then just now they've taken on the trials of living with 7 people in one house in Australia all within our first year of marriage. Haha! Sadly there will be no cliff hangers this week. I love getting all of the "OMG!" comments you guys leave. :) Makes me feel like a villain in a superhero movie, mwah-ha-ha!! The next (and last) post will be a tag team effort from Micah and I. We're both going to dissect the "pre-wedding" process, the things we learned going into marriage and also the things we've learned in our first year. We're even going to repost our wedding video for those of you who haven't seen it. This will be Micah's first time chiming in on the blog, so you'll DEF wanna tune in for those words of wisdom. :)

Thanks so much for tuning in each week for this mini-series. It's been so fun getting to sit back down with Micah and re-remembering how it all happened. It has been awesome sharing this with you guys and HEY! I'm one post away from completing my first blog series! Just saying, I'm the worst at committing to things creative. Sounds terrible but so true. I either get bored or move onto the next thing. You guys' excitement and interest has kept me on track! Anywho, hope you enjoy the video!

Our Not-So-Ordinary Love Story Pt. 3

Ah! I can't believe we're already on part three of this five-part series on mine and Micah's love story! If you're just now jumping in, click here to get caught up: part one // part two. Last week I left you guys with a hefty cliff hanger carrying the news that Micah was now a single man. Yes, a four year relationship ended. Now, you'll look at the facts and think "whaaaat?!" but remember, the story ends well so hang in there. The next Monday, Micah returned to the church office from his birthday weekend and I of course knew that something happened with him and his girlfriend because, I mean, Facebook told me. But how do I bring this up to him without being nosey, pushy, "too-soon" or way out of line? After sitting in silence working on our computers on opposite sides of the office for about a solid hour, I turned my chair and said ever to subtly, "So I heard about you and your girlfriend." After a minute of no response, I turned my chair around & face-palmed myself. Then surprisingly he responded with, "Yeah, it's cool though. I'll be fine." I took the "I'll be fine" comment as he wasn't the one who ended it. Being a girl, you think of every possible scenario in the WORLD to try and figure out what the heck happened to this (what seemed to be) perfect relationship to cause it to end after four years!! I refrained from asking the million questions running through my head because I wanted to be sensitive to the fact that he may still be in pain from the break up. So instead I just told him that I was sorry and if he needed someone to talk to that I'm here for him. He gave me a few tiny details of what happened and shared how he was dealing with it all. I returned with normal advice about how girls think and told him everything will be okay. Nothing super deep; we just scraped the surface. Now, I would be lying if I said there wasn't a very, teensy, tiny part of me that was absolutely thrilled that Micah was now a single man, but I made sure to keep the "strictly friend wall" up if he ever asked for advice on the situation again.

Later that night I was sitting in the living room with my mom watching who knows what on the TV. It was probably Dancing With The Stars or something lame like that. It was our shared weakness. I grabbed my phone to check Facebook and realized I had a text message from Micah. I didn't receive many texts from Micah unless it was a "what time is bible study again?" or "are you with Dylan?" kinda text. So needless to say I was quite shocked and nervous to see what it said.

"Hey! Just wanted to thank you for listening to me today. It was legit to have a girls take on everything instead of just guys." 

We chatted back and forth a couple times and I reassured him that everything was going to be fine and that if he ever needed an ear that (yet again) I'd be there. Since that day, Micah had let the group know that him and his girlfriend were broken up for good. He told us that they didn't end things on a bad note and ultimately ended up being pretty neutral in the decision. He let us know that the year with him being in Australia and then returning to her being away at college was just hard on them as a couple. They had different groups of friends and were growing in separate directions. She was embarking on the exciting college life and just didn't feel that there was any chance of their paths connecting in the future anymore. 

The next few weeks were normal except Micah and I started growing a more friendly relationship towards each other. We'd joke around, he'd shoot me texts of random funny comments and we started talking on deeper levels. The first time Micah and I ever hung out alone was at a Waffle House. Yes, classy I know. We literally sat in that Waffle House for hours just talking about each others lives and telling crazy stories about our childhoods. Before that day, I never realized how much Micah and I had in common. I discovered we liked a lot of the same bands, that even though he didn't have any tattoos at the time that he really wanted some and that both our moms would get along really well considering the stories we'd tell about our families. Knowing it was so soon after the break up I was quite hesitant about mine and Micah's sudden friendly relationship becoming public. I didn't want to be the "rebound" girl and also didn't want to jump into anything too quickly so that he would have some time to be out of a relationship before thinking about getting into one with anyone else. 

Weeks passed and people started noticing that Micah and I were definitely acting like more than just friends. Obviously our whole group caught onto the act and were very iffy about it, because dating within a friend group is never a good thing, right? Micah and I had multiple discussions about our feelings for each other, about how fast they were growing and about how everyone else was reacting to those feelings. My mom reminded me to guard my heart and make sure to be wise about making the decision to grow such a close relationship with Micah. After all, she was there for the high school relationship when I was the rebound girl and kicked to the curb when the "rekindled love" for his ex came back. She's a brilliant woman. I reassured her that we were taking everything into consideration before taking steps further into whatever this was.

From the get go, Micah knew I was going to Australia at the end of the year and it came time that we had to address the matter. We beat around a lot of bushes and considered a lot of different options but at the end of the day we knew we didn't want to be apart. Micah always supported my decision to go to Hillsong and didn't want the deciding factor to be for me to stay and miss that opportunity. It was then when Micah spoke up and said, "You know... it wouldn't be that hard for me to go back with you". I looked at him with a "huh" kinda face and then realized he was being completely serious. Both of us knew that the "friendly relationship" we had was definitely not just friendly anymore. We really liked each other and knew that this was one big step into the rest of our future. Micah was coming to Australia with me and that meant one thing...

Stay tuned to see what happens next!!!!

Our Not-So-Ordinary Love Story Pt. 2

Welcome to part two of the mini blog series about mine and Micah's love story. If you're just now jumping in or missed last week's post, you can catch up with us here! Last week we ended on the first time Micah and I actually met. Once I finished grilling him with all the questions I had about his year at Hillsong we sat in silence until it was awkward. After that day Micah was around the church a lot helping out with videos whenever he could and within a couple weeks we "accepted" him into "our group". When I say "our group" I mean the only 8 college aged kids at the church who just so happen to work in the creative department and hang out until the wee hours of the morning playing ping pong, having wheel chair races and watching YouTube videos. Seriously though, we were very involved whether it was producing Sunday services, leading worship, creating set designs and helping out with youth whenever we had the chance. The first time Micah "joined" us for a festive night "working" late at the church was around time for planning the Christmas services. We had a full night of brainstorming sets, thinking of songs, and all things to make Christmas services happen. Micah walked in to hang out with us and our close friend Dylan walked right up to him, hugged him and squeezed his butt saying "Hey man! I like you!". Ever since then, he loved us (but mostly Dylan). Our group was inseparable. We worked together, did bible studies together, failed miserably at fasting together, made dinner together, Facebook/Instagrammed/Pathed about being together, I mean we were flippin' tiiight. Weirdly enough Micah and I never grew that close. I had great brotherly relationships with the other guys in the group but for some reason I never had that with Micah. I mean looking back now I can own up to the fact that I didn't want a brotherly relationship with Micah, but there was always that apparent wall between Micah and I. Not intentional but apparent.

Micah is the reserved type. Being around the crazy guys in the group always brought out the side of Micah you don't see everyday. He's also very profound in his words. When Micah spoke up in the group, at bible study or in a creative decision at the church, everyone tuned in to hear what he had to say. Micah also spoke very highly of his relationship, which I honestly thought was amazing. He would talk about his girlfriend like she was a princess and I think by this point no one had even met her because she was 4 hours away at college. But trust me, we knew about her. Every chance he got the opportunity he would include her in conversation. His integrity in that relationship is still to this day something I've admired most about Micah. Not in a selfish way but in a "I want someone to talk about me like that" way. It's crazy because I remember going home from these late nights with the group and talking to my mom about how awesome it is to be friends with such amazing people. She asked about every single one of them. She had met Micah once but it was a quick hi&bye probably while we were all passing through to eat on our way to our next crazy adventure. I remember the first time she said "so tell me about Micah" I would go on about how amazing his relationship was from the way he made it sound to all of us and that "I want someone with integrity like Micah" when I meet my future husband in Australia (ha!). Then we would move on to the next person in the group. I was privileged that year to have such amazing friends and still so honored to be friends with them to this day.

It was a few days before Christmas (2011) that I had finally made the decision to apply to Hillsong and commit to raising money. I sent out support letters and knew without a doubt that somehow I was going. Not having a CLUE how I was going to pay for it but I just knew that I was going. Christmas passed and the new year came. Still all of us were friends growing closer and closer. We all had dreams of planting churches, going to college, moving to Nashville, touring with big time bands and we supported each other in every decision and helped each other navigate where to go next. It was Micah's birthday and him, most of the guys from the group and obviously Micah's friends from high school went camping. The girls, Brandon and I were up at the church hanging out when I got on Facebook (naturally) to do that subconscious scroll through your newsfeed. I remember scrolling through and seeing "Micah Lee Bearden is single". I scrolled past it because I thought my eyes were deceiving me. So I told everyone to get on Facebook and check to make sure I was seeing it right. But yep, everyone confirmed that Facebook wasn't lying. Micah was indeed single.

The rest of the story will continue next week :) STAY TUNED!

Our Not-So-Ordinary Love Story Pt. 1

So, I've been asked a couple times to share mine and my husband, Micah's, love story. Because we are both so young, we get asked "why?" a lot. Well, that's what I'm here to tell ya. Exactly why a 19 year old and a 21 year old decided to get married before making the biggest move of their life to Australia. Got ya interested now? Haha, good! Instead of making one super long post with the entire thing, I decided to make it a mini series for you. I hope you hear our hearts and ultimately realize that without God, we wouldn't be where we're at in our marriage today. He orchestrated it all to work exactly like He wanted it to. 

We'll start in summer of 2011. I was eighteen years old, single and loving it and also working at a gymnastics gym in my hometown. While all of my friends were starting their first year of college, I decided that I wanted to work until I figured out where I wanted to go to school and most of all what I even wanted to go to school for. I knew that whatever I did, that I wanted to lead worship and write music for the local church. I researched a bunch of christian colleges in the area and even a few states over and nothing really popped out at me. It was one night that I was helping a good friend lead worship that I heard of a church in my area looking to contract worship leaders to come in weekly and sing. Fresh out of high school and getting paid to do what I love without ANY college degree?! I can dig it. I instantly agreed and relocated to the church where I'd be leading worship. Week after week I grew more and more in love with the church, the people and the staff. After a while I got offered a part-time intern position at the church and started going to the offices during the week. I was at church all day and the gym all night. It was a big year for me. 

Around October of that year I started really thinking of what I wanted to do about college. Hillsong had been on my mind for a while but it seemed so out of reach. With it being an international school, it was hard to really get any further information on peoples experiences other than the Facebook page or via email and I just wanted to talk to someone. I mentioned to my over-sight at the church, Brian Preston, my heart for wanting to attend Hillsong and THIS is where my dear husband comes in the picture... 

Brian mentioned that there was a guy from the church actually at Hillsong College and was finishing up his year in the TV Media stream in November. He suggested that I find him on Facebook and ask him some questions regarding his experiences at Hillsong when he got back in the States so that I could get the ins and outs on every question I had. 

November rolled around and the famous Micah Bearden from Hillsong College had made his first appearance at church in a year. I was making it a goal to introduce myself so that I could annoy him with all my questions but at the same time remembering that I had been previously told that he had a girlfriend of 4 years. So the fact that he was attractive and taken just marked him off my radar. But even though he was very unavailable, I was definitely inspired by their strong relationship to have lasted an entire year apart with only Skype and Facebook messaging to communicate...

The first time I talked to Micah was one day during the week when I was up at the church working on set lists for the month. He came in to talk about potential work possibilities in the TV/Video department and we got awkwardly stuck in the same room for about an hour together. So... like I do, I made it known that I added him on Facebook a couple weeks prior and had 50 questions (written down) to ask him about Hillsong College. He didn't say he was weirded out by me but I'm gonna guess he was by the look of shock on his face that some random girl was drilling him with questions about the past 12 months of his life. 

The rest of the story is filled with friendship, heartbreak, big decisions, a wedding, and a move to another country as a newly married couple. 

To hear the rest of our story, STAY TUNED til next week :)